


Vague à l'âme

by flaminpumpkin



Series: OsaSuna Week [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Break Up, Day 3, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Promise/Memory, SunaOsa Week (Haikyuu!!), beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaminpumpkin/pseuds/flaminpumpkin
Summary: His mind was roughly 9,500 kilometers away on a completely different beach, one he had seen a million times. Well, maybe not a million. But just enough to build a lifetime worth of memories. One linked to the one person in this world who could ever make him feel regret.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Series: OsaSuna Week [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770460
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22
Collections: SunaOsa, SunaOsa Week 2020





	Vague à l'âme

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my contribution for SunaOsa Week day 3!  
> Prompts 1&2: Promise/Memory, Beach
> 
> I apologize for any mischaracterization or any spelling/grammar mistake.
> 
> Enjoy!

A leaden sky. A raging, dark see. And a man, standing, immobile and alone on the deserted beach.

He stared at the horizon without really looking, woeful expression painting his features.

His feet were bare, the legs of his jeans rolled up despite the rather chilly autumn weather. There was sand between his toes and that should have felt uncomfortable but he didn’t pay it any mind.

Because his mind was elsewhere.

Physically, he was standing on a beach in England on a stormy day, thunder rumbling low and getting closer with every minute as wind blew dark grey clouds towards the coast.

But his mind…

His mind was roughly 9,500 kilometers away on a completely different beach, one he had seen a million times. Well, maybe not a million. But just enough to build a lifetime worth of memories. One linked to the one person in this world who could ever make him feel regret. A person he had loved for years and still cherished like the apple of his eyes to this day.

A sigh escaped him, as he remembered…

* * *

Rintarou was 11 years old.

There was sand between his toes as he wandered further away from where his grandmother was with his little sister.

He’d never liked the beach. Sand was bothersome and the salty water burnt his eyes. But it had never stopped his parents from sending him spend his summer vacations in Kakogawa with his grandparents.

He couldn’t really blame any of them. Everybody loved the sea and playing in the sand. He was the only one in his family who would rather stay in Tokyo.

So every year, he’d suck it up and just endure.

Grumbling as he put his hands deep in the pocket of his shorts, he hopped on a big rock he had found. He could feel the heat seep through the material of his shorts to come and burn the skin of his butt and thighs as he sat down. He didn’t mind, not too much at least. Everything was better than the sand at this point. And this was a great spot. He was still able to see his grandmother and was isolated from the other people and the sand at the same time.

It was the perfect spot.

Until a volleyball came flying towards his head.

He dodged at the last second, eyes going wide in surprise. What exactly did he have to do to have some peace?

“Tsumu! Ya idiot!”

He scowled as two boys – probably his age – came running towards him, the one behind spouting a flurry of weirdly specific insults at the one in front of him. They looked identical. _Twins?_

They came to a halt in front of his rock as he drew his knees to his chest, looking at them, his scowl still present.

“Hey! Can ya give us the ball?” the one that has been insulting the first said, immediately earning himself a kick behind the knees.

“Apologize first, ya pig.”

They started to bicker under his incredulous stare, one shouting and moving his arms around frenetically while the other looked at him with a blank face, answering him with a bored voice.

Rin decided he liked the one who had told the other to apologize better. The other was too loud and dramatic, he didn’t like it. He didn’t like loud people. (Yet another reason to hate going to the beach.)

The calm one suddenly shoved the other forward, towards him and his rock, rolling his eyes.

“Just get the ball and leave him alone.”

The loud one rounded the rock, scowling deeply and grumbling, to get the ball and then left without a glance back, poking his tongue out at his brother as he left.

“Sorry ‘bout him,” the remaining boy said as he turned back to him, taking step towards him.

“It’s ok.”

There was a silence where they observed each other.

“My name’s Osamu, what’s yers?”

His hold on his knees lessened a bit but he still kept them close to his chest.

“Suna Rintarou.”

“Can I call ya Rin?”

He nodded.

“Ok, cool.” A pause. “Can I sit with ya?”

And that’s how they spent the rest of the afternoon. Sitting on a rock, away from the crowd.

Rintarou learned that the boy’s full name was Miya Osamu and his twin’s was Atsumu; that they liked to play volleyball but Osamu sometimes was tired of playing with him because “Tsumu’s an ass”. That Osamu loved pudding and cooking with his mom.

He realized that he didn’t actually mind the boy’s presence. He seemed nice enough and spoke calmly, which was a nice change from the other kids he usually met when they came to the beach.

He told the boy – Osamu – things about himself too. Nothing really interesting if you asked him, but Osamu listened.

It felt nice.

For the first time in his life, he was happy to be at the beach. Because he had met someone. And that someone seemed like they actually enjoyed being with him and wanted to befriend him. People often called him apathetic and too sarcastic for his age when it was mentioned that he didn’t have a lot of friends.

But this boy right there, Miya Osamu, was the proof that he didn’t need to change and that the right people would come at the right moment.

Unfortunately, every good things come to an end. Even this. And it came in the form of Osamu’s father coming to tell him they were going home. He didn’t want it to end. He had felt comfortable with Osamu, talking more with him than he normally would. But eventually, the other boy still had to leave.

“We’ll meet again,” the raven head declared, oddly confident.

“You think?”

“Yeah. I promise.”

And Osamu gave him a wide toothy grin before running off to join his brother again, leaving Rin to walk back to his grandmother. From what he had learned this afternoon, Osamu didn’t seem to smile a lot so he secretly kept that image of the raven haired boy smiling at him close to his heart. For years.

_We’ll meet again._

* * *

**These words…**

* * *

Rintarou was 17 years old.

They were sitting in the sand, watching the waves roll towards the shore in silence. It was heavy. Suffocating. But he wouldn’t be the one to break it, no matter what.

Because talking about it would mean acknowledging it and he didn’t want too. All he wanted to do was run away. Forget all kind of responsibilities he had. Just live in that out of time bubble he had built for himself with him by his side. He wanted to bask in this unadulterated happiness he had found for a bit longer.

But he was leaving the day after.

He should have been happy. He was going back to Tokyo, this city he loved so much and had promised to return to three years ago when his family had moved in Hyogo. The team he had always admired had scouted him. And yet he couldn’t shake off the anguish that had wrapped itself around his heart.

He had way too many memories here. Good and bad. Happy and sad. A lot of them including a certain silver haired twin. And he cherished all of them.

His eyes trailed to the side, weary of observing the blurry horizon, instead focusing on _him_.

Miya Osamu. The boy he had met all those years ago. The boy he had encountered again like they had promised. His best friend. His boyfriend.

He looked so serene at that moment. Stormy, hooded eyes staring in the distance, lips lax and fluffy grey hair blown away from his forehead by the cold wind coming from the sea. He knew for certain that he didn’t look that calm.

Sand suddenly flew in their eyes after a particularly strong gust wind, forcing him to hide his face in Osamu’s shoulder and shuffle closer as insidious, cold air seeped through the material of his hoodie to bite his skin. An arm wrapped around his back and brought him closer, engulfing him in reassuring warmth, allowing him to press even closer into Osamu’s side.

“I don’t want to go,” he whispered into his boyfriend’s clothed shoulder, more to himself than for the other.

Osamu answered anyway. Because he always did. No matter what.

“But ya have to.”

Rin didn’t respond. Osamu didn’t push him, instead turning his head to nuzzle the top of his head and leave a kiss there. Oh how he wished he could stop time and stay there forever.

“It’s not that far.”

He scoffed.

“Yeah, 430 kilometers isn’t that much.”

Cynicism dripped off of every word coming out of his mouth but Osamu elected to ignore it, changing the subject to take both of them back a few years ago.

“Ya remember when we first met?”

“How could I forget? Atsumu nearly knocked me out with a volleyball. And he still hasn’t apologize. Asshole.”

They both laughed, quiet and intimate. Suna loved that deep, airy laugh, so different from his brother’s boisterous one.

“He did. That idiot… But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

He knew exactly what his boyfriend wanted to talk about.

“I said that we would meet again.”

“I doubted you.”

“Ya did. But in the end, I was right and look at us now. Boyfriends.”

Osamu was right. Even though Rintarou had remembered him for years, he had lost hope rather quickly. Because he had been, even then, realistic. And yet, on his first day of school after moving in Hyogo, he had recognized those dark, droopy eyes at first sight. Everything that had happened after that was history.

“Lucky us, then.”

Osamu pulled him closer again, planting a kiss on his forehead this time.

“Lucky us… But what I mean to say is we weren’t together back then. We had just met. This time ‘round we know each other. A couple of kilometers won’t break us up. Plus, phones are an actual thing. Ya should know, yours is glued to your hand. ”

He straightened back up, leaning back to stare incredulously at Osamu, his little comment flying over his head, instead focusing on what he had said before. Suna hadn’t been delusional back then and he wasn’t going to be now. Long distance relationships were hard. They were both way too young and new to this despite the fact that they’d been dating since the beginning of their third year.

“Samu-”

“Before ya say anything,” Osamu cut him, placing a finger on Suna mouth, making him frown. “I know long distance relationships are hard. But it’s not like you’ll never come in Hyogo again. Yer family lives here. Most of yer friends do too. And I know ya. You wouldn’t have bothered makin’ this work if ya had known it would end like this.”

Suna’s mouth fell open, his eyes roaming over the other teen’s face, trying desperately to find an argument.

Until Osamu cradled his face in his hands, gently cupping his cheeks like Suna was his most precious possession, and pressed his forehead against his. His dark grey eyes were incredibly warm as they bore into his greenish ones, reaching depths no one had ever bothered trying to reach.

“I know you’ve known about EJP’s offer since November.”

“How-”

“Yer mom told me. So I know. That you are just as serious about this as I am. Because there’s no way ya would’ve put extra effort into this if it wasn’t a bit important to ya but…”

He trailed off, eyes closing as he sighed deeply, his shoulder falling.

“But I won’t force you if ya don’t want to.”

Seeing Osamu, the boy he loved like that, distraught and defeated, so far from what he was used to, pulled at the strings of his heart.

“I want to try.”

The other teen stayed silent, eyes roaming all over Suna’s face, a glint of hope somewhere within the turmoil, searching.

And suddenly he was engulfed into a warm embrace, face tucked into the crook of Osamu’s neck.

“We’ll meet again, then,” Osamu simply says, bringing them back to that one time a few years ago, and Suna snorted.

* * *

**They rang in his head every time…**

* * *

Rinatrou was 25 years old.

Cold winter wind blew violently, forcing him to bury his face into the collar of his coat to protect himself. He was freezing, feeling the bite of the cold wind down to the marrow of his bones.

How fitting it was. It matched his state of mind perfectly. He hadn’t felt warm for a week, every semblance of heat having left his body the moment Osamu’s lips had left his.

One last kiss. Under the tacky, pink neon lights of a konbini they had visited together a million times.

One that had only left emptiness behind when it used to fill him with love.

Water splashing the bottom of his pant legs pulled him out of his dark thoughts and he cursed, hastily getting away from the water before stalling… Realizing.

He had wandered aimlessly for hours, had purposefully avoided this place. But one minute of inattention and his feet had led him there.

He cursed some more, blaming his faulty heart for everything happening to him. For his pain. For the pain he had caused. For the sweet memories turned bitter.

For the vice that closed and tightened around his throat when his eyes landed on a familiar form.

Osamu was standing there, immobile, staring at the horizon the same way they had done so many times, simply sitting next to each other and enjoying some calm. But nothing about this was peaceful anymore.

At least not for Rin.

Being here with Osamu, even if he didn’t know he was there, it all but revived the maelstrom of emotions he had so painfully managed to tame over the last week, in the wake of their break up. If you could even call it that.

They had been running some errands at that konbini they always stopped by when he had brought up the subject. Things had been weirdly tense between them for a while now, ever since Rintarou had signed that transfer with a team from England, and he had wanted to put it to rest.

“ _Can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve seen it comin’ for a while now. I know ya_.”

No fight. Just resignation. Acceptance that this time, things wouldn’t go their way. It had hurt more than any scream, any harsh word that could have been said.

Which made it all the more painful to see him now.

Rin wanted to walk up to him and wrap his arms around him, hug him until they were both feeling whole again. He wanted to kiss him, tell him he wouldn’t go, that he would stay with him.

But it wasn’t an option for him anymore. All he could ever give Osamu was a decent closure and he had already done that.

There wasn’t anything he could do. So he turned around and ran. Away from this beach that held memories of a thousand days spent together; away from Osamu, from the man he had loved and would love probably until his death. Away from this suffocating feeling of making the wrong choice, of heartbreak and sorrow.

He only allowed himself to stop when neither Osamu nor the beach were in view, coming to a halt in the middle of an empty sidewalk, the only noise surrounding him being the one of his own pounding heart. He panted, from the sudden effort over cold muscles or from the pain clawing at his chest, he wasn’t sure.

He wanted to forget ever coming here, today or ever, and forget about Osamu, the expression of sadness on his face, the defeated set of his shoulders.

Through the hazy veil of sorrow surrounded his mind, he suddenly remembered words. Words Osamu had told him twice already, that had kept him sane for years as he played in Tokyo, away from Osamu who had stayed in Hyogo.

He reached in his coat pocket with trembling hands, fumbling to grasp his phone, their last few texts glaring up at him as he opened his conversation with Osamu. Ignoring them and their weight, he typed those simple words that had meant so much to them and left.

Without turning back.

 _We’ll meet again_.

* * *

**Every time he thought about _him_ …**

* * *

Those memories were painful, bitter, no matter how sweet some could be.

But there was this promise they had made a couple of times already. A promise they had kept despite the odds.

So he turned around to leave, fingers gently skimming on the glassy surface of the plane ticket in his coat pocket.

They would meet again. He was going to make sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
